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Old but Gold – Krush Kill N’ Destroy Xtreme

Australian Starcraft

Oh, you thought I was finished with this 1996 strategy classics bender, didn’t you? You thought I’d just do one and move on. WELL GUESS WHAT?

You’re sort of right and sort of not.

You see Krush Kill N Destroy isn’t a strategy per se as it is a meatgrinder simulator. In this picturesque 16bit post-apocalyptic landscape that was once Australia (honestly it looks pretty much the same) you grind up oil to go forth and battle either the red savages or the tech-focused blue people. It was the 90’s okay? Things were a lot simpler back then. Chock full of charm, a little wit, odd references and some odd Australian voice actors, Melbourne House’s title is quaint. If one can call a game in which hapless infantry are often dispatched by a gigantic monster truck driving other them quaint.

 

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It’s the 90s, strange live action was a requirement.

The story is, as was the trend back then, contained primarily in the manual that came with the game. Don’t you miss those? I’d always read them in the car on the way home from the game store, even the HUD details were interesting to me back then. NOW enough nostalgia, an attempt at a little professionalism would be nice. It’s your standard end of days plot, the world ran out of resources resulting in a nuclear war. Two factions have emerged years later, one having sought the surface long ago and essentially becoming heavily armed savages with giant weaponized crabs. While the other hit the snooze button and stayed underground in their cosy bunkers awhile longer, emerging still possessing the resources needed to establish a technologically focused society, unlike their tribal counterparts. Both sides decide to slaughter each other because the nerds see the tribals as ‘muties’ and the tribals see the nerds as an affront to their god. So basically, no decent reason but no-one really cares anyway because you bought this game because of the title.
Gameplay wise it’s nothing particularly special, funnily enough, it’s reminiscent of every other game that came out within a five-year window side of it because every game that came out then is reminiscent of every other. While it was a booming time in terms of technology and graphics it wasn’t exactly one in terms of mechanics or story. I digress. Imagine if Starcraft had only two sides being your stock standard humans and the strange freaky humans that thought it would be fun to strap ordnance to anything bigger than themselves. You work until you can get as many of the biggest, baddest units as the game will allow. In the case of the nerds, these would be tanks with gigantic Gatling guns that scream ‘I’m compensating for something’ and ridiculously oversized crabs with missile pods strapped to them for the savages.

 

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Mechanized warfare is a little unfair when the enemy doesn’t have tanks

From the humble beginnings of an HQ a bunch of dudes with rifles/bows, a truck, a refinery and a power station you will grow your base into well… a bunch of dudes with bigger guns, more trucks, more refineries and more power stations. Of course, you build vehicle bays and research stations to get bigger things with which to brutally murder the enemy but it’s all much of a muchness. I came to the rather rapid realisation that turrets were the most dangerous unit in the game, capable of wiping out half your army with a few shots and this would be all well and good had I anywhere to put them 90% of the time. The invisible restrictions that say you can’t have buildings too far away from each other have seen many a refinery torched and blown up because I simply couldn’t stretch my base like some sort of demented conga line to place a turret or two nearby.

 

The campaigns solid with a decent variety of missions, some of which even feature legitimate strategy while others… feature a ridiculously OP robot that basically can’t be destroyed. Having said that those missions where you’re given a limited number of troops and a vague objective are a diamond in the rough, albeit an often frustrating one. You have to give genuine consideration and thought into how you’re going to go about this mission and it’s something you wouldn’t expect from a game with the name Krush Kill N Destroy.

On the whole Krush Kill N Destroy delivers a nice combination of challenging missions and teenage hormone fuelling murder orgy. While the skirmishes may be shallow the missions are more often than not well thought out even if they do have something of a steep learning curve once you know the basics. For the lost price of $5.99, you’d be mad not to check this topdown murderess out. I don’t know if you’ve ever wondered what Australia’s like or if maybe you’ve asked whether or not an elephant with rocket turrets strapped to it could beat an APC then this lovely gem can answer those questions and more.

 

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Not sure why the Chrysler Building is in Australia

 

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About Another Cynical Fat Man (28 Articles)
I'm a simple man of simple tastes. A lover of all things gaming and nerdy. I'm a poor uni student so I tend to focus on cheaper and lesser well known titles than the AAA scene.

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